“So many people going to office,
... tall trees,
...big, big buildings. Daddy works in a big building.
...three school children,
...a cafe. Does it sell doughnuts? I like doughnuts.
Look Mummy, two BIG COCKS!!”
“What?!?” I splutter.
He points to the North Sydney Post Office with its clock tower looming large.
“CLLLL-ocks, Caleb, CLOCKS,” I enunciate.
“...and there goes a big fuck too!”
“Yes, Caleb, that’s a TRuck.”
Caleb with his toy TRUCK
Pin drop silence on the bus. The men in black shuffle their newspapers; the women in their power suits swipe their iPad screens. Hehehehee!!! A teenager sniggers. A split-second later, the entire bus roars with laughter. The bus driver is laughing so hard, I’m surprised the bus doesn’t swerve off the road.
Oh well, at least 30 people got their jollies that morning...
And I made that call to Community Services’ Speech Therapy Centre, pronto.
Have your children said anything that has made you cringe? Have you made some unfortunate slips of the tongue? Is there any word you just can’t pronounce, or spell? Do you ever take public transport? What do you do on your journey to pass the time?
Zahara and I sing songs on the bus, loudly, and she points out "fat" people - yes I cringe. Especially as she points with her middle finger - just makes it all seem worse. We also talk about the disabled picture on the bus with the person on crutches with one leg, and discuss various ways he lost it. Crocodile ate it is the most popular.
ReplyDeleteHi Al, this article is priceless..... enjoyed reading it and had a good laugh. Made my day. Keep them coming...
ReplyDeleteOne day, I'll have to tell the story about how Josie reacted to a little person at Aldi. The man was NOT amused (understandibly) and I was mortified. Funny post Alison!
ReplyDeleteAlison ur son is very young, but even my almost 9 year old has issues with pronouncing some words. This particularly happens with Hindi where many times he is unable to distinguish the hard sounds and that when Hindi is our mother tongue. But he is improving. So don't worry Caleb will be fine too with his pronunciations. He DOESN'T need therapy.
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