Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Santa is taking centre-stage at the Rodericks’ residence. While Baby Jesus lays peacefully in his crib and the baubles wink at us, all breakfast talk is on the Man in Red.

Caitlyn: “I think I saw Santa coming into my room last night...”
Me: “Santa will be here only on Christmas eve.”
Caitlyn: “Maybe he was checking on me to see if I’ve been good...”
Breslyn: “Then maybe he saw how many times you woke up Mummy and Daddy last night. Hmm...”
Caleb: “But how will he get into the house? We don’t have a chimney – we only have a fireplace.”
Me: “Maybe he has a special magic key to open all the doors of all the houses in the whole, entire world.”

I remember how I found out the truth behind Santa.
I could not have been a day over seven years old. It was Christmas Day. Dad, Jason and I were out visiting the rellies. First stop: dad’s eldest sister, Enid’s mammoth house. We’re sitting around the dining table at the back, marvelling at – and indulging in – A.Enid’s marzipan fruit and Christmas cake. Then U.Trevor and A.Enid ask what Santa brought me. My cousin Bruce leans in and whispers to me, “Santa’s not real; your mum and dad put your present there while you were sleeping.”

The world as I knew it shatters. The horror!

So when it comes to my kids, I'm going to bend over backwards to keep the magic and mystery of Santa Claus alive for as long as possible. And maybe leave some marzipan out for Santa on Christmas eve as a bribe...

What do you remember most about Christmas when you were growing up?
What are you doing to celebrate the festive season this year?
What’s on your wish-list to Santa?

How I realised my son needed Speech Therapy

So Caleb and I are on a bus that's winding its way through North Sydney. He’s giving me a running commentary of what he spies through the window:

“So many people going to office,
... tall trees,
...big, big buildings. Daddy works in a big building.
...three school children,
...a cafe. Does it sell doughnuts? I like doughnuts.

Look Mummy, two BIG COCKS!!”

“What?!?” I splutter.

He points to the North Sydney Post Office with its clock tower looming large.

“CLLLL-ocks, Caleb, CLOCKS,” I enunciate.

“...and there goes a big fuck too!”

“Yes, Caleb, that’s a TRuck.”

Caleb with his toy TRUCK

Pin drop silence on the bus. The men in black shuffle their newspapers; the women in their power suits swipe their iPad screens. Hehehehee!!! A teenager sniggers. A split-second later, the entire bus roars with laughter. The bus driver is laughing so hard, I’m surprised the bus doesn’t swerve off the road.
Oh well, at least 30 people got their jollies that morning...

And I made that call to Community Services’ Speech Therapy Centre, pronto.

Have your children said anything that has made you cringe? Have you made some unfortunate slips of the tongue? Is there any word you just can’t pronounce, or spell? Do you ever take public transport? What do you do on your journey to pass the time?